So ditching the Adidas tracksuits, getting an X Factor makeover and having your sex tape leaked worldwide by Pappzd Magazine is now the criteria to be crowned FHM’s sexiest woman in the world?
IN. THE. WORLD!?
Well, we didn’t see that coming. In fact, after just watching Tulisa’s technique in the sex tape again, it appears neither did she.
The 23-year-old sex tape star beat off stiff competition from globally recognised icons of beauty and sexuality like Rihanna, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara to be crowned FHM (the British edition, mind you) Sexiest Woman in the World 2012. She even beat her fellow reformed chav, WAG and two-time previous winner Cheryl Cole.
Bringing Sexy Back!
So being that we quite clearly have a better understanding of what sexy means than those train-spotter-type, 40-year-old virgins at FHM, Pappzd decided to create our own list of hot UK women that we believe blow Tulisa (pun intended) out of the water.
Here’s our list.
Not one to shy away from the camera, Portia Freno caused a stir when she appeared in Adam Deacon’s Anuvahood. She’s got that sexy stare down to an art and has been working hard to keep her already perfect body in shape.
This A-list actress proves that age ain’t nothing but a number as she still looks sexy at 35 years old. And if she’s hot enough for Jack Sparrow and James Bond, then she’s hot enough for us.
Often overshadowed by the other members in girl group The Saturdays, Vanessa’s sultry sex appeal seems to go unnoticed. She’s even brave enough to rock a tattoo on her forearm and make it look good.
We couldn’t stop staring when we saw the recent pics of Sadie in that orange bikini. The 24-year-old singer definitely knows how to stay in shape. We can see why Scorcher claimed her before someone else did.
Is it only us or does Jamelia look just as sexy now as she did when she was in the charts? The 31-year-old yummy Brummy mummy who also manages to find time to be a singer, presenter and model hasn’t aged a day and that’s even after having two kids. With her mile long legs and sumptuous complexion, she definitely deserves a place in the sexiest British women list.
Star of Channel 4’s Misfits, Antonia Thomas has set many pulses racing and this was while wearing a bright orange community service jumpsuit. We’re so sure that having a super power that turns anyone on when they touch her and a handful of sex scenes has something to do with the appeal too. Misfits? We’d find a fit. We’d make one.
The most fashionable and sexiest person on Walford Square (though let’s face it – that’s not saying much), Preeya, not only shines on television but can also hold her own in the music world too. No wonder she’s Skepta’s favourite Asian girl.
One of the hottest glamour models in the UK, Elisha has curves to die for. Measuring in at an enviable 34E-24-42 she has all the right assets to earn a spot in our top three and her voluptuous form is sure to turn a pulse into a throb. Elisha has posed for many of the leading glamour magazines and her figure oozes natural sexuality.
Another Alesha in the Pappzd list, Ms Dixon brings sexy back to ITV on Britain’s Got Talent every Saturday. Not only that but she’s the new face of Avon cosmetics, has flawless skin that we all wish we had, and she never puts a foot wrong in the style stakes. We still can’t get over how any man with an ounce of Garvey would leave her for a life at the Hylton.
Deciding who should top this list of Britain’s sexiest woman wasn’t hard for the Pappzd team (well it was for the men in the team, quite hard actually).
Tabby Brown is sexy personified whether she’s on a night out or at the gym. The glamour model has appeared in music videos with Akon and B.O.B, featured in American booty magazine Black Men and has been accepted by glamour model royalty, even partying with Rosa Acosta. With such an impressive CV Tabby’s number one spot is definitely well deserved.
So there you have our list. It might not be the same as your list, but we’re sure you’ll agree it’s 100 times sexier than FHM’s list. And we’ve only gone for 10 women. And all British.
Tell us what you think of our list in the comments below, who would you add and who would you kick out of bed. Also share with us your views on the FHM list. Is it time FHM just stopped publishing their list? Can anybody even remember a time when a real-deal, actually sexy woman even won it?
We’re gagging to know.
Don’t get us wrong, Tulisa certainly isn’t the ugliest of ducklings, we just feel a bit short changed when one considers (as one Pappzd follower so eloquently told us):
In truth quite a few of our British beauties have been cheated by not even getting a mention from the lad’s mag and we refuse to live in a world where Cher Lloyd is considered to be sexier than Beyonce. GTFOH!