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If there was a list of people we wouldn’t like to be right now it would look something like this: Alexandra Burke, Scorcher, Wiley and pretty much everyone else in the music industry.

Dappy has just released the much anticipated Tarzan 2 and to say that he goes in on everybody is very much an understatement. Not only does the former N-Dubz frontman take shots at Scorcher and Bashy for not being able to wear chains in their own hood, he also calls out Alexandra Burke’s career and basically calls Simon Cowell the devil. He goes deeper; claiming that he received oral from DJ Sarah Jane Crawford!

After opening with a disclaimer and a list of all Dappy’s criminal friends that should be freed from jail, we’re treated to a lovely scene of two models eating each other for lunch. If you know what I mean.

Scene from Dappy Tarzan 2 Video

Poets Corner seems to be enjoying his time with blow up doll Max

We hope DJ Sarah Jane Crawford and Max can see the funny side of the video, because the lyrics ‘let her [Max] know I wanna smash from the back’ and ‘Sarah Jane can come give me brain’, might make things a little bit awkward if Dappy happens to bump into the ladies any time soon. You won’t be hearing this track on 1Xtra or Choice FM.

Poets Corner gives a lovely re-enactment of what the sexual scenes could look like, but with Dappy being hung like a tree (his words not ours) we think it would have been very different.

Simon Cowell as the Devil and a flopped Alexandra Burke Career from Tarzan 2

Dappy also mentions X Factor and, one of his worst enemies, Simon Cowell – who apparently banned him from appearing on the show last year. The 25-year-old star raps about the way X Factor winners have had little success with music and money saying

Heard Simon Cowell thinks I’m a w***** and I’m getting on his t*** like cancer and I don’t wanna start mentioning names, where they all now, they’re bankrupt.

Joe McElderry, oh what a stand-up. Alexandra pull your socks up, where your hits at? You ain’t no winner I feel bad cos your voice is amazing but your career’s getting raped by a mason.

Ouch. We haven’t heard this many insults directed at so many people on one track since 50 Cent’s How to Rob! We just hope Dappy is ready to be kidnapped, or worse, by what we think will be some very angry industry folks.

Watch the video above and tell us what you think in the comments.