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Nobody, not even Davina ‘I’m-too-grown-to-pull-off-this-ditzy-over-girly-act’ McCall’s expert self, nor the awkward onlooking by Alan Carr and that weird blonde doctor dude from Embarrassing Bodies could save Cheryl (we have to drop the Cole but let’s face it, if we do – everyone will definitely go “Cheryl who?”) from dying on stage when she performed her whack song Call My Name to open Channel 4’s Stand Up To Cancer on Friday night. Nobody.

Davina: Chezza, let’s face it, that was shit. Cheryl: (tries to answer but there’s no pre-recorded answer so we don’t hear her)

As far as her artistry is concerned, Cheryl is never going to belt it out like Emeli Sande or Adele but nothing could really be worse for her than having that exposed live on TV.

This hilarious clip shows Cheryl putting in some killer choreography to her hit single Call My Name to only suffer from the humiliation of some sound engineer forgetting to turn up the pre-recorded voice track on her backing audio. We’d love to meet that guy/girl and shake them by the hand. Build them a shrine.

Some fans, and producers at Channel 4, have tried to claim Cheryl’s mic wasn’t working properly but you could very clearly hear her heavy breathing and mumbling along the words (so as to lip-sync). Oh no, this was no mic problem; it was a shit singer problem.

Davina: I’m really, really sorry viewers but if you decide to turn off now, nobody will blame you because this show is not going to get much better than the awful tripe you just saw. I’m soooo sorry!

Cheryl heavily relies on pre-mixed backing vocals on her backing tracks when she pretends to sing live as she’s not strong vocally. OK, let’s face it – she’s not strong at anything but if I don’t cut her some slack y’all gonna say I’m just being mean.

Anyway, she could have saved herself a little by attempting to sing live, whether she would have sounded good or bad is out of the question (it would have been mercilessly bad), but at least the effort would have won her some level of respect. After all, it hasn’t harmed Rihanna’s career one bit.

Shockingly enough, this is probably what Cheryl sounds like when she’s not assisted by a loud backing track. And it sounds like a game of really bad Chinese whispers.

What do you think? Did somebody deliberately sabotage Cheryl’s performance? Have your say below.