In an interview with the Daily Star, formerly ultra cool and well respected American rapper Snoop Dogg Lion confirmed that he will be collaborating with Cheryl Cole on her next album. There goes his ratings.

This is apparently all part of Cheryl’s efforts to try and break America. I swear she’s already tried that? And somebody tell her that the first thing you need to break America is actually some sort of talent. Anything. Even if it’s just sucking d***s. Ask Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for tips.

Snoop Dogg Lion said

Hip hop sells in America and that is the direction her manager wants to take her.

I have already talked with him about collaborating with her on her next album and I am down with it.

He’s right. Hip hop does sell. I’m just worried about how long Cheryl can manage to pretend to be hip hop. Or if she’ll even get away with it in the first place. Epic fails don’t get a second chance in the notoriously overcrowded US RnB market where they don’t take too kindly to buying back a product they traditionally export.

But Snoop Dogg Lion isn’t the only rapper that wants on Cheryl’s next album; he’s in talks with Eminem as well and the Rihanna collab is apparently still going to happen. Someone’s going all out.

We can already see the Eminem/Cheryl video now. As the two won’t meet they will never share the same scene and Eminem will be doing his angry white guy thing screaming about hating, killing, shooting and generally maltreating women, with a mention of Hailie. And Cheryl will be miming something about being wuurth eet.

The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg and Snoop Dogg, added:

He’s [] got some big names planned for her and is talking with Eminem as well.

In my mind, Cheryl’s next album will look like a Various Artists album or a compilation with great artists recording several songs featuring Cheryl rather than the other way around. And it will still probably flop.

Maybe Cheryl will put her hair in cornrows again to show how gangster she be. Oh please, no!

Somebody, really tell us what sees in her.