In an article published today the The Sunday Times Magazine sets out to explain Why Rihanna Is The New Diana [Princess of Wales] and features an image of the late Princess and the pop star merged together on the front cover of the magazine supplement.

The article attempts to compare Rihanna with the Princess, saying:

Not since Diana rocketed from a shy, plump kindergarten aide to a lean, mean fashion machine has there been such a ravishingly seductive flirtation with the world press.

The article continues by drawing other questionable conclusions founded upon very loose observations.

Diana and Rihanna began as sensitive, wounded, but appealingly bubbly and good-natured provincial girls who slowly discovered their own photogenic virtuosity and began to conceptualize themselves as living sculpture for the lens.

Alrighty then. And there’s even more

Rihanna, another victim of a festering romantic triangle, has bounced dizzyingly back and forth in her checkered affair with rapper [sic] Chris Brown, who was convicted of a felony in 2009 for abusing her.

There’s so much cack in that article I’m not sure the author has any left for her toilet bowl. Didn’t the Plain English Campaign specifically set out to ban convoluted, pretentious writing like that? Oh no, that was just in business correspondence.

Let me just clarify, I’m not dissing Rihanna, just the nonsensical premise of this article.

The article also notes that in the same way that the media were obsessed with Diana’s personal life and prized her as the most photographic celebrity, they have now shifted towards Rihanna in the exact same fashion.

Chris Brown (who is a rapper, according to the ill-researched Sunday Times Magazine) and Rihanna (who is a showgirl) at the Grammys earlier this month

Lastly, they also compare the dysfunctional relationship of Prince Charles and Lady Diana (as she was then) to Chris Brown and Rihanna.

Oh Jesus, Lord, help us.

The teaser on the Sunday Times website has a nice little graphic which tells us how we can read the whole thing


Umm… No thanks, I’ll respectfully decline your offer. Thanks all the same.

The article’s author, Camille Paglia, somehow states that in the classic Stockholm-syndrome of battered women, Rihanna remains optimistic in the hopes of saving and rehabilitating her abuser and that Diana did too.

Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about this comparison. It’s extremely random and has no common connection.

I guess they just needed something big to carry off their London Fashion Week edition and as Rihanna’s River Island collection launched, they had to scratch out something that would connect their readers to Rihanna and thus, legitimise their lead story. I love Rihanna, but this angle is an epic fail.

Would you compare Princess Diana with Rihanna? If so, how do you think the two relate?

Tell us below, because the Sunday Times Magazine article was about as convincing as Lenny Henry playing James Bond.