2013-notting-hill-carnival-man eating

While we were all having fun at Notting Hill Carnival this Bank Holiday weekend, some people were actually working. And I don’t mean the DJs who played to hundreds of thousands of people. Or the pretty girls who were selling vodka jelly shots. I’m talking about the ones who were doing the worst jobs at Notting Hill Carnival 2013.

You want to know what they are? Well here goes…

The Guy Driving the Truck

notting-hill-carnival-worst-jobs truck driver

Am I the only one who used to think robots drove the parade trucks? These poor souls spend hours in a hot truck driving so slowly, you’d think they were going backwards. One of the drivers even brought his daughter along, because we all want to spend that one weekend a month we get with our dad, in his truck watching women dance provocatively. It’ll be supervised visits for that daddy from now on…

The Guy Holding the String

notting-hill-carnival-worst-jobs guy with string

No-one agrees to this surely. You must have pissed someone off really bad if the only job you were given at Notting Hill Carnival was to hold a piece of string. And it isn’t an easy job either. Have you seen some of the costumes? They’re like half the size of a bus and all you have to make sure this bus/person stays in line is a string? Rather you than me my friend.

The Girl Cleaning the Toilets

notting-hill-carnival-worst-jobs toilet cleaner

I actually felt quite embarrassed taking a picture of this girl as she was pretty hot. She was wearing the perfect shade of a berry lipstick, her hair was freshly done and her outfit was cute. What wasn’t cute though, was her face when she had to step into one of those filthy toilets to tidy it up a bit or stock it up with toilet paper. I wouldn’t even bother with the marigolds love, that Notting Hill Carnival bacteria is powerful enough to burn through the strongest of rubber gloves.

The Child Working at Her Mum’s Best Friend’s Auntie’s Food Stall

notting-hill-carnival-worst-jobs food seller

Working for your parent’s food stall during Carnival must be boring, but you do it because you love your family and they’ll give you £50 to get your nails and hair done. Working for someone your mum knows because apparently you have nothing better to do, is not OK. Especially when you’re like six. The youngest age a child can work in the UK is 13 and the girl in the picture above does not look 13 to me. Did someone say child labour exploitation?

The People Clearing Up All the Carnival Shit

worst-jobs-at-notting-hill-carnival celan up team

I’m 40% sure they’re all ex-convicts, so I don’t feel that sorry for them. Nevertheless being part of the Notting Hill Carnival clean-up team has got to be the worst job ever. Not only are you cleaning up shit, but the air stinks of shit and the rubbish is just never-ending. The clean-up starts at around 8pm with a team of street cleaners, refuse staff, waste managers and a huge fleet of some 30 vehicles getting rid of all the empty beer cans, vomit, condoms and half-eaten jerk chicken.

And as if their job wasn’t hard enough, the cleaners have been told that they have to try and recycle! I mean who makes these rules? The Carnival affected areas are never really the same until Christmas and the whole clean-up operation takes half a month. I just hope these guys are paid well.

So, those were my five of the worst jobs to do at Notting Hill Carnival and I think you’d agree that they’re pretty grim.

Hasn’t that made you feel so much better about being on Jobseekers Allowance?