In another “I can’t believe how much money he’ll get” football story, Jermain Defoe has been offered £90,000 a week to quit Tottenham and play for Toronto FC in Canada.
That’s £5 Million a year to play soccer, (which isn’t really football if you ask me) in what South Park taught me is one of the lamest countries ever.
We don’t know if Defoe will accept the offer yet, but while we wait to hear if the footballer will be getting more money, here’s seven things I would do if I were Jermain Defoe, earning £90k a week.
1. Get a crazy hairstyle like this random line, but fill the line up with Chopard diamonds, because I can.
2. Pay people to buy my ex-girlfriend Alexandra Burke’s records. Because to be honest, she needs all the help she can get.
3. Make a money suit and walk around like a big shot.
4. Buy a couple of bottles of Legacy by Angostura, then pour it on the floor for all my fallen homies.
5. Buy every single piece of chicken in all the Nando’s restaurants in London and make a lot of people mad.
6. Tweet an ‘obscene’ remark against the FA like Ashley Cole, get fined £90k, then pay that shit off in cash.
7. Change £90k into £1 coins and place one coin on every seat in the Wembley stadium.