david cameron china diss britain only study and travel

David Cameron arrived in China on Monday, starting his three-day tour in the world’s most important economy. He’s trying to improve trade between the two nations and better Sino-British relations.

But it clearly isn’t working as a Chinese Tabloid has totally dissed us, saying Britain is “just an old European country apt for travel and study.”

The PM has already replied, hitting back at the critics with some facts and figures. But we think his response was pretty lame.

Here’s seven comebacks we think David Cameron should have used.

1. When we inhale, we are not involuntarily smoking 200 Bensons. 

air pollution china

2. In Britain we accept bad teeth. In fact we’re famous for it. Which means whether or not you have a mouth full of crooked teeth, you’ll be allowed to perform at events such as the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

cute girl forced to mime china olympics

3. Our parents can give us as many brothers and sisters as they want. 

mother with 11 kids

4. We have a booming illegal DVD industry. You can buy DVDs in any nail salon or barbershop!

illegal dvd london

5. The whole world knows British whispers are so much more reliable.

chinese whispers

6. When we grab someone by their wrist it doesn’t burn. 

chinese burn

7. Our New Year’s Day falls on… well, the first day of the new year. 

london new years day