Today X Factor star Sam Bailey was crowned the winner of the Christmas no.1, beating Leona Lewis and Pharell to the spot. It’s not really that important to us, but we still like to make some noise about it.
So to celebrate Sam Bailey winning the Christmas chart battle, here’s ten of the worst Christmas number ones ever.
10. Wherever You Are, Military Wives. 2011
Maybe I find this song so annoying because I heard it 24 times per hour in 2011. Or maybe it was because I didn’t know the words. Or was I just jealous of their fame? The Military Wives won the nation over with their song dedicated to their absent husbands. The single sold more than 556,000 copies in the first week, more than the rest of the Top 12 combined.
Wherever You Are was also nominated for Best British Single in the 2012 BRIT Awards, but lost to One Direction for their single What Makes You Beautiful.
9. Two Little Boys, Rolf Harris. 1969
Harris released this song in 1969, decades before many of us were born. In 2013 he was charged with nine counts of indecent assault and four of making indecent images of a child. It’s likely he’s been banned from saying, singing or being around Two Little Boys for the rest of his life.
8. Do They Know It’s Christmas, Band Aid. 1984
The song was written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure in 1984 to raise money for the famine in Ethiopia. This was around the time Geldof started thinking he was the saviour of the world. The song sold a million copies in the UK, during the first week.
7. Do They Know It’s Christmas, Band Aid II. 1989
Do They Know It’s Christmas struck again in 1989. And of course it was going to get the No.1 Christmas spot. Celebrities on this version included Kylie Minogue, Wet Wet Wet and Jason Donovan. My mother tells me they played it in the hospital on repeat, to drown out the sound of her giving birth to me.
6. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, The Justice Collective. 2012
I didn’t hate this song. I just hated the fact that it beat James Arthur’s X Factor single. Everyone liked him back then. No-one though he was a homophobe…
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, was recorded for charities associated with the Hillsborough disaster and featured celebs such as Mel C, Paloma Faith and Robbie Williams.
5. Do They Know It’s Christmas, Band Aid 20. 2004
It’s back again. This time in 2004 with Dizzee Rascal featuring. He was the only artist who changed up the song, which was getting pretty annoying by now, by adding a little rap in the “here’s to you” section. The cover art featured some pervy looking deer staring at an African child’s naked body.
4. That’s My Goal, Shayne Ward. 2005
Shayne Ward was the first X Factor winner to get a Christmas No.1. That’s My Goal sold 313,000 copies on its first day of sales, making it the third fastest selling single of all time, behind Elton John’s Candle in the Wind and Will Young’s Evergreen. The single was rush-released on a Wednesday, which was pretty odd as most new singles are released on a Monday to get maximum sales for the UK Singles Chart the following Sunday. I’m not saying Simon Cowell fixed it, I’m just saying it’s strange…
3. Can we Fix It, Bob the Builder. 2000
Shame on anyone that bought this single. You ruined Westlife’s dream of getting a Christmas No.1 with their track What Makes a Man. Can We Fix It? was the biggest selling single of the year in 2000. The whole year. What is wrong with this country?!
2. There’s No One Quite Like Grandma, St Winifred’s School Choir. 1980
A bunch of school kids stole the number one spot from the late John Lennon, with their annoyingly un-cute track There’s No One Quite Like Grandma. Proceeds from the song, around £40,000, went to the school for new carpets and classroom facilities. Pupils were given sweets as a reward.
In October 2009 the song was re-recorded by 14 members of the original choir. (The rest of them were probably in prison or overdosed due to the pressures of fame). It was released in the UK in November 2009 as part of food company Innocent Drinks’ Big Knit campaign, to raise money for Age Concern.
1. Mr Blobby, Mr Blobby. 1993
What was Mr Blobby? Why did our parents allow us to watch him? Why did they buy his music? Was there no-one else catering for children in 1993? Have any of you actually listened to the lyrics in that dreadful song that, somehow was number one for three weeks?!
I think we’ll all agree that Mr Blobby is not only the worst Christmas No.1, but the worst song in the history of the world.