London Underground is good for many things. Getting to work, getting free newspapers and it’s a great conversation starter when you’ve had it up to here with talking about the weather.

But it can be annoying. In fact it’s mostly annoying. Especially for girls. Here’s eight of the most irritating things about the Underground for the female race.

1. Sitting in the seat that doesn’t face a window. Giving you no opportunity to confirm that you’re the hottest girl in the carriage.


2. Getting ‘chirpsed’ when you don’t even want to look at anybody.


3. Having the chirpser get off at your stop (it’s not his stop) and follow you home.


4. Not getting a seat when you were planning to lay all your make-up out on your lap.


5. Men who come on the underground to dry hump.


He’s dying for that blonde to squeeze on in front of him

6. Sitting next to men who do this.


7. When you’re all dressed up, hoping to find love on the Northern Line, and women like this get on.


8. Having to leave your seat for a power hungry woman who just got her badge. Your bump is a pretty obvious clue that you’re preggas, we don’t need badges to tell us!